I think I agree with BWE’s analysis over Videogum’s. This ad is so horrible and cheesy and gay that there’s no way it wasn’t done on 100% purpose. But just like the ad, the product also looks horrible and cheesy and gay. If Microsoft wanted to go viral so bad that they made a lame product just to do so… it just seems way to un-Microsoft to be possible.

For those of you who still live in the city and care about what happened before you were born, this event is sure to be a good one. Local Vancouver punk historian Scott Beadle will be giving a talk. Hopefully it will be more rock and less talk, although a little talk is OK. Especially before a night of dirty sex.

The time has come for you to buy your Music Waste Festival pass. They only cost $15, and are available for purchase at Zulu, Scratch, Redcat, Audiopile and Limelight Video. They may be a bit too sexy for you, but that’s your problem, not ours. Happy summer!

For more Music Waste information, including schedule and bands and everything else, visit the Music Waste website.

When I was little I wanted to be invisible. I liked the idea of being able to steal quarters from my mom’s purse without her knowing. I used to put a shopping bag over my head and sneak into her room. It never worked out. I should have picked a different secret identity, one where I wore a bunny mask and drunkenly stomped around on stage… Maybe then I’d have a new record out and a girl from an online magazine asking me questions about hamburgers, which I’d never respond to.

ONLY: So it’s like a barn yard with you guys, you’ve got a (No)bunny, a (So)cow and you’re even playing with a (Van)cougar on your Vancouver tour date. What’s the story with the whole animal theme?

NOBUNNY: Animals rule the nonsense. Fuck a human. Would you rather mop n fry or ____ N fly? Get Nasty. Get Primal. Animalistic!

ONLY: Are you bringing the same musicians along to back you on this tour or will you just recruit from each city as you often do?

NOBUNNY: This tour is going to be myself, Trent “Talent” Purdy (Okmoniks, Sneaky Pinks), on bass, Jason “Tango” Testateca on drums, and Mr. Brian “So Cow” on guitar.

ONLY: OK, best animal band ever?

NOBUNNY: Ol’ Dirty Bastard

ONLY: What happens to your pants at a lot of shows?

NOBUNNY: You’d have to ask them.

ONLY: People really seem to like you, what’s the weirdest thing a fan has done so far?

NOBUNNY: Somebody gave me a BJ on stage in Cleveland at Tower 2012!

ONLY: That’s not weird, that’s awesome! On the topic of awesome stuff, you played on a TV show called “Chica-go-go” on Chicago Access Network, what was that like? How has your life been different since that experience?

NOBUNNY: I’ve spent a lot of time in Chicago and let me tell ya, it’s a great town — something for everybody. So many great things but the best-o numero uno thing-o is Chic-A-Go-Go! Tons of fun for everyone! Jake and Jackie Austen (heroes of mine) run the show. Jake also does the best zine of the last twenty years called “Roctober”. Anyways playing there was a dream come true. I saw the Zero Boys the night before I played and was really hungover. I also ate a sausage and raw onion sandwich right before I went on. I thought I was going to die! Then, to top it all off, when I got there they played the wrong song… but it seemed to work out well. I’ve gotten more responses to that appearance than anything else I’ve ever done.

ONLY: Well your Nobunny dolls are pretty rad. Are they available from merch at your shows?

NOBUNNY: The dolls are mail order only! Each one is handmade to order, so no merch table… sorry!

ONLY: As for your new LP, how did you end up releasing “LOVE VISIONS” on bubbledumb Records? And who is bubbledumb?

SO COW: bubbledumb is a dude named Dave. He was the first person that asked, so I said yes!

ONLY: So I have to ask, is there any friendly competition between you and The Rhythm Chicken?

NOBUNNY: I love the rally rabbit! We have corresponded briefly and discussed playing together, but nothing has happened yet. He’s my brother from another mother.

ONLY: In the movie of Nobunny’s life, who would play you?

NOBUNNY: Hopefully someone nasty, like George Kuchar, Gary Coleman or George Clooney. Loony-Clooney Vision! Sid Haig would be cool too… Rosanna Arquette is my final answer — I have her ear tattooed on my body.

ONLY: Which best describes your music, a hotdog or hamburger?

NOBUNNY: [No Response… whatsoever]

ONLY: Finally, what is the best secret identity song ever?

NOBUNNY: “Two faces have I” – Lou Christie

For tips on how to create your own secret identity, go see Nobuuny (Oakland) with SoCow (Ireland), Vancougar & Dead Ghosts Saturday the 24th at Pub 340.

When you watch Mattress, you’re going to have a little bit of a “what the fuck?” reaction. Don’t worry about it, it’s natural. I’d try to classify this music here, but the hyphen key on my keyboard is hooped. There are many online Nick Cave comparisons that use way too many adjectives to describe one dude with a noise machine. I looked at these, but in the end, I came up with my own Mattress reading: Rex Marshall is a fucking librarian. I imagine one day he couldn’t hack the silence anymore so he snapped and made Mattress. I’m really happy that he did and also that he was kind enough to answer a few of my questions regarding this silence/noise dichotomy.

ONLY: The Dewey Decimal System has always stumped me and I have a certain level of respect for people able to navigate that kind of organization. Any tips?

REX: I usually carry a boombox with me in the library. When I get lost, I sit down and hit play on my “I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On” cassette single by Robert Palmer. Then I get the assistance I need.

ONLY: I usually go for a little Huey Lewis and the News in situations involving literature, but to each their own. What are you reading these days?

REX: This week I am reading Last Exit to Brooklyn by Hubert Selby Jr. I am also slapping around some Gary Lutz stories, and sampling an assortment of survival guides… you know, how to survive a nuclear blast, how to treat contaminated water, how to pick bullets out of yourself. The basics, basically.

ONLY: Um…is paranoia something you’ve struggled with your whole life?

REX: I grew up in the cold war, you know, good old nuclear family fun.

ONLY: The last time I went to Portland, when I told people I was from Vancouver the general reply was “you have to move here immediately.” I kind of got the feeling that most people were content to never leave, to remain in their happy little bubble full of breakfast nooks, organic produce, independent press, bikes and babes. Are you nervous about braving the world outside of PDX on your tour?

REX: The cross-Canada tour will be a boatload of fun. I am curious, not nervous, to see how bad it will get. I always assume that things will go badly so I am not caught expecting too much. Maybe on this tour I will hit puberty, and my voice will crack and disgrace me. The good time possibilities are endless.

ONLY: You’re pretty physical on stage. Have you ever rolled/knelt/sat in anything yucky?

REX: I only roll around in the finest organic fresh from the farm mess.

ONLY: “Rex Marshall is a one-man rhythm ace of prison water torture repetitive beats and slippery Casio keyboard progressions.” “If Nick Cave had a bad dream with Suicide on the soundtrack.” I pulled those quotes from various internet sources. A less creative example would be some nerd’s description of your performance at the Pub 340 as “TV on the Radio meets Jim Morrison, but in a good way.” I find these descriptions totally funny and not that accurate. Why do you think everyone wants to figure you out?

REX: It is easy to figure me out. I am a singer. Hey! It is fun to hear the theories. Once someone told me I sounded like karaoke with the midget from Twin Peaks.

ONLY: To your face? Ballsy. So, Reluctant Recordings out of Edmonton picked up your album for Canadian distribution. How did that all go down?

REX: The Doers’ handsome young singer Sean Maxey put me up to it. Said he would make me a star. Said he would solve all my problems and take all my troubles away. Then I met Evan, the honcho of Reluctant Recordings, and we had a good talk about mustaches and I knew history was being made.

ONLY: How much do you charge for a mustache ride?

REX: I think you sent me this question by accident… maybe this was intended for your interview with the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

ONLY: Nope, Nick Cave. I hear he charges a cool grand for a go on that steely black caterpillar. I’d pay more though.

Mattress plays Pub 340 May 16th to mark his Canadian record release and the start of his cross-Canada tour.

Ruby Suns – Sea Lion
Definitely the best new release since Vampire Weekend. Seriously, the entire staff at Only Magazine agrees. And we are definitely not kidding. We keep telling the rest of those guys at Only: “C’mon. Don’t you guys think that bands like these guys and Vampire Weekend are just mixing tropical themes into their mediocre indie music as a cheap gimmick?” But then the Only guys are all like: “No way dudes. These two bands are the real deal. We guar-on-tee.” And who are we to argue with everyone else at Only Magazine? [Ed: Actually, we think Vampire Weekend sounds like unreleased end credit music from The Lion King]




Four Tet – Ringer
Jeph: Rumour has it that Four Tet was interesting for a week in 1998, but if you have heard any electronic music that wasn’t made from Robert Miles, then you will probably find Four Tet to be pretty uninteresting. There you go. Awesome Jeph Wager just slipped a Robert Miles reference into a review for some mysterious reason.

Meg: Yeah, you’re so mysterious, and don’t we all just wish we could be a part of your special, little, mysterious world.

Jeph: Point taken. Oh, and to remove any ambiguity from my first point, I was saying that Robert Miles is the most boring electronic musician and that a fan of such music might be pleasantly surprised by these songs. Also, I should acknowledge that Four Tet does one awesome thing on here. The song “Swimmer” has an organ chord noise stretch through the whole song. It gives a nice break from the overly quantized and sequenced sound of the rest of the EP. I hope I didn’t sound too much like a real reviewer there.




The Roots – Rising Down
Listening to The Roots makes us both a little bit nostalgic. It’s been almost ten years since we first started going out at a rave in the old Woodwards building, and talking about “Things Fall Apart” that night is probably one of the reasons that we actually talked to each other again after that and eventually ended up getting married. But most of all, it reminds us of a girl we once knew that bragged to Jeph around that time that she had a friend that could understand the words that Erykah Badu was singing in the chorus to “You Got Me”. What do you want to bet that that girl we knew was from Maple Ridge that we no longer talk to her?




Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin – Pershing
Jeph: I think it’s a pretty clear case that if there are six words in your band name you should just give up and end it all.

Meg: I still love Boris Yeltsin.

Jeph: Obviously. Everyone loves Yeltsin. That’s another reason the band name is so bad, unless it’s a clever reference to some cool thing I’ve never heard of. But, barring that possibility, this album is one of the worst things I’ve heard in my life. And I’m pretty sure this is the band from the Tom Hanks movie That Thing You Do! (And that exclamation point is in the movie’s title. I wasn’t ending that sentence that way).

Meg: Actually, I’m pretty sure you’re wrong. The band that did the music for That Thing You Do! is Fountains of Wayne. Everybody knows that.

Jeph: I’m not saying these guys did the music for that movie. I think they’re the fictional band that the movie was about. Actually I don’t just think so, I know it as a fact.